munching dirty carpet and going to church
Its been a while, and a lot has happened. Lets see. The end of April, we moved out of the townhouse in Laurel. You can see Ducore's blog for most of the details of that because I don't feel like typing up redundant information. Even though we have been out of the house for nearly a month, we still have not gotten our security deposit back. That is a story on and of itself:
So, our leases stated that we had to get all sorts of stuff done to the carpet due to the fact that we had a dog in the house, and also since we had done a pretty good job of soiling the carpet and figured it would help us get the security deposit back if we left it as clean as we could. So I called the carpet place that the landlord recomended and made an appointment for the evening (3-5) of the day that we moved out. Of course, luck would have it that the guy calls at like 1 when we are about to take the uhaul up to Elizabeth and I's new appartment in Columbia and wants to come ASAP. So I have to rush the unpacking and leave a lot of carrying to all the people who came to help us, and get back as quickly as I can. The carpet guy gives us this whole speel about how we need $1100 worth of stuff done and then we should get the $200 warranty as well. This was for a basic cleaning, de-flea/de-tick, deodorizer, and a deep clean. The deep clean wasn't required in the lease, but the guy pretty easily convinced me that if we didnt get it we would pay more out of our deposit than we would pay him. It probably was the right decision. Anyway, he anded up knocking the cost down to $750 by offering to do part of it through his own companies rates, and not through the company who had sub-contracted him's rates, or more likely as a ploy to make it seem like he was really giving us a deal. Anyway, he did all the cleaning, and I got really stressed out from all the commotion of having too many people in the house helping and having the carpet guy continually try to sell his warranty on us. every room he finished he would call me into to look at and then tell us how his warranty would carry to our new place and that he would give it to us for free as long as we got the carpet cleaned once every 6 months. Then Elizabeth got mad at me because she though my Dad and I were arguing with him instead of letting him work when he had been the one who started it and wouldn't take no for an answer. My Dad had been (admirably so) arguing earlier with him and trying to make sure we werent being taken for a ride. And I dont blame Elizabeth for being upset because she was probably nearly as frustrated and stressed as I and knew that I should have been moving things out to the car or cleaning up instead of arguing with the carpet guy. What finally got him to shut up was telling him that we were moving to an appartment and thought that the maintenance people their cleaned the rugs and we couldnt have an outside person do it. Quite possibly bullshit, but it worked. Anyway at this point Elizabeth and I decided to take a carload to the new place and I subtly got my parents to leave (I'm glad our families and big/little Ducore helped us move so much, but after a while there were just too many people around). Now this is the fun part... before we left, people were asking me why my hand kept shaking. I guess I was just frustrated and stressed and sometimes I get jittery when I am stressed or upset or bored or something... So we get into Elizabeths car, and before we even leave out street I have like a nervous breakdown. I start tearing up and cant control my breathing. Its not like I was hyperventilating, but I coulding get a sentence out without taking an involuntary heaving breath in the middle... Elizabeth gets all concerned, but I start laughing uncontrollably, which probably freaked her out even more. When I finally composed myself, I felt so much better about everything. It was great. This is how I used to deal when I got really stressed out back in like sophmore year of college. I'd put some music on (usually Pink Floyd), lay in bed, and eventually I'd ball my eyes out for like 10 seconds, start laughing at how pathetic I felt, and then feel completly rejuventated and have a fresh perspective on my problems. Its good to know that I can still do that now, and also that I felt comfortable enough with Elizabeth to let my gaurd down in front of her... so that was a good thing I guess. Anyway after that every thing went pretty smoothly, except that when the carpet guy was done we offered him some soda and pizza and I made small talk with him for a few minutes. Now this guy looks like a stereotypical readneck (missing teeth, baseball cap...), so it was not much of a surprize when this conversation occured:
Me: My family has some friends who do carpet cleaning, but only in Montgomery County.
Carpet Guy: Montgomery County is the only county we dont really like
Me: Why? Too many rich people?
CG: Yeah this one time we were in a house and the guy didnt understand what I was trying to tell him he needed done and he ended up kickign us out of his house.
CG's wife: yeah, he was a "Dot"
Me: A "Dot"?
CG: Yeah, an Indian. Man, those indians are taking over our country. Every 711 you go into, they're every where. I say we go and take all their jobs if their gonna take ours.
Me:
All of this aside, I think the carpet guy was a nice enough guy and he has tried to help us out. The land lord told us that the carpet was not clean and that we had been ripped off and needed to have him come back. Now most of the problems still present in the carpet are stains and holes that were there before we moved in (I have pictures), and oil stains from the dogs sweat when she was layign on the floor and those wont come out no matter what we do. Also He said the house still smelled like dog. It probabaly didnt help that we had people over after the carpet was cleaned and slept on the floor and were still moving some stuff out which is probabaly why it didnt look like it had just been cleaned. Anyway, the caroet guy was supposed to come and meet with the landlord and I so we could figure it out but that fell through as the landlord couldnt get ahold of the new tenants to get their permision. As it stands now, we are waiting for the new tenants to compile a list of existing problems and things that need to be fixed and then we will figure out from that what we are responsible for (if the carpet is fine with them then we are ok). But it has been like 3 weeks. I left the landlord a message today so we'll see what happens. I know he has 45 days legally to give us our security depsoit back (or let us know that we wont get it back). I need to find out if there is a limit to how long the new tenants have to compile their list.
Wow, this is a long post.
This weekend, Elizabeth and I went to pre marriage class at a Catholic church. While neither of us is really religious, especially not organized religion-ous, Elizabeth's family is, and we are going to have a Catholic wedding to keep her Grandparents happy. So we had to take this class. It actually wasnt that bad, and I enjoyed the fact that Elizabeth, the ex Catholic school girl looked more bored than I. The class was 2 hours on friday night and all day on Saturday. There was a lot of stuff about communication and finances, and even a dancing lesson that I though was worth my time. The really fun stuff however was stuff like "Prayer and Stewardship in Marriage", the obligatory speech by a preist about how I'm really getting married to the church and/or God and/or Jesus and not just Elizabeth(I thought they were against polygamy!?) and the jewel of the weekend "Natural Familiy Planning". The Prayer and stewardship lecture was about how important it was that we pray together everynight and that we set aside time, for instance while we are in the car, for bible study and rosary saying. I wonder how many accidents are caused by people trying to drive and talk to God at the same time? Also, We are apparently supposed to give like 10% of our money to the church.... whatever, thats hooker money. I was disapointed that this section did not ask of us "How will you help your spouse get into heaven?", even though they did remind us that this is our true goal in marriage. Elizabeth's uncle was asked this question in a recent catholic marriage class and replied "With a shotgun", so you can see my disapointment at such a great comedic moment beign missed. Natural Family Planning (or NFP for idiots who actually think its a good idea) is the practice of using a womans cycle as a form of natural birth control. Now, I agree that it is a good idea for a woman to keep track of her cycle, and even that this is a good way to get pregnant if you want to, or to not get pregnant if you dont really care if you actually do get pregnant, but I have trouble understanding the ethical superiority of this method over other birth control methods, and have trouble seeign it as anything other than a loophole for Catholics who want to have a lot of sex (I mean "relations" and the teachers refered to it) but dont want a lot of kids. Also, the woman has to check the color and viscosity of her vaginal lubrication/discharge every morning to track her cycle. Actually, that could be kind of hot... I wonder how many good catholic wives end up discovering masturbation this way? Finally, this method is incredibly racist. The sample chart they showed us has red stickers on period days, green on days that the woman could not get pregnant (at least statistically very low probability of gettign pregnant) and WHITE baby stickers on really fertile days. Elizabeth wanted to ask if the set came with black babies and what to do if she wanted to have a black baby. As a nurse, Elizabeth was even more skeptical of this section than I was. I guess education trumps my sinnerism or something. anyway, we ended Saturday by having to do to mass and stand up in front of the congregation and be awarded certificates and these little pewter action figure guys actached to a wooden "T" shaped thing. I'm not sure what the significance of that was, but it sure was noce of them to give us free stuff. Unfortunately the certicicate says "Elizabeth Parker and Timothy Coss", so evidantly Elizabeth is cheating on me. I'll have to dump her. Actually, the bible says that you can annul a marriage for the simple reason of unchastity... so we can break up if ever get bored with each other and god will be ok with it because we are dirty whores. kick ass. Oh, and we also got a free book called something like "The good news about sex and marriage. answers to your questions about sex and marriage in teh catholic church" This is a fantastic book which gives us such words of wisdom as the fact that oral sex is ok as long as the man does not come and it is immediately followed by old fashioned baby making sex (evidently the same goes for anal sex although they didnt really come out and say it), and that the only acceptible way to obtain a sperm sample is to use a "perferated condom" I really hope I never mix my perferated condoms up with my no perferated ones... boy would that be embarassing.
So, our leases stated that we had to get all sorts of stuff done to the carpet due to the fact that we had a dog in the house, and also since we had done a pretty good job of soiling the carpet and figured it would help us get the security deposit back if we left it as clean as we could. So I called the carpet place that the landlord recomended and made an appointment for the evening (3-5) of the day that we moved out. Of course, luck would have it that the guy calls at like 1 when we are about to take the uhaul up to Elizabeth and I's new appartment in Columbia and wants to come ASAP. So I have to rush the unpacking and leave a lot of carrying to all the people who came to help us, and get back as quickly as I can. The carpet guy gives us this whole speel about how we need $1100 worth of stuff done and then we should get the $200 warranty as well. This was for a basic cleaning, de-flea/de-tick, deodorizer, and a deep clean. The deep clean wasn't required in the lease, but the guy pretty easily convinced me that if we didnt get it we would pay more out of our deposit than we would pay him. It probably was the right decision. Anyway, he anded up knocking the cost down to $750 by offering to do part of it through his own companies rates, and not through the company who had sub-contracted him's rates, or more likely as a ploy to make it seem like he was really giving us a deal. Anyway, he did all the cleaning, and I got really stressed out from all the commotion of having too many people in the house helping and having the carpet guy continually try to sell his warranty on us. every room he finished he would call me into to look at and then tell us how his warranty would carry to our new place and that he would give it to us for free as long as we got the carpet cleaned once every 6 months. Then Elizabeth got mad at me because she though my Dad and I were arguing with him instead of letting him work when he had been the one who started it and wouldn't take no for an answer. My Dad had been (admirably so) arguing earlier with him and trying to make sure we werent being taken for a ride. And I dont blame Elizabeth for being upset because she was probably nearly as frustrated and stressed as I and knew that I should have been moving things out to the car or cleaning up instead of arguing with the carpet guy. What finally got him to shut up was telling him that we were moving to an appartment and thought that the maintenance people their cleaned the rugs and we couldnt have an outside person do it. Quite possibly bullshit, but it worked. Anyway at this point Elizabeth and I decided to take a carload to the new place and I subtly got my parents to leave (I'm glad our families and big/little Ducore helped us move so much, but after a while there were just too many people around). Now this is the fun part... before we left, people were asking me why my hand kept shaking. I guess I was just frustrated and stressed and sometimes I get jittery when I am stressed or upset or bored or something... So we get into Elizabeths car, and before we even leave out street I have like a nervous breakdown. I start tearing up and cant control my breathing. Its not like I was hyperventilating, but I coulding get a sentence out without taking an involuntary heaving breath in the middle... Elizabeth gets all concerned, but I start laughing uncontrollably, which probably freaked her out even more. When I finally composed myself, I felt so much better about everything. It was great. This is how I used to deal when I got really stressed out back in like sophmore year of college. I'd put some music on (usually Pink Floyd), lay in bed, and eventually I'd ball my eyes out for like 10 seconds, start laughing at how pathetic I felt, and then feel completly rejuventated and have a fresh perspective on my problems. Its good to know that I can still do that now, and also that I felt comfortable enough with Elizabeth to let my gaurd down in front of her... so that was a good thing I guess. Anyway after that every thing went pretty smoothly, except that when the carpet guy was done we offered him some soda and pizza and I made small talk with him for a few minutes. Now this guy looks like a stereotypical readneck (missing teeth, baseball cap...), so it was not much of a surprize when this conversation occured:
Me: My family has some friends who do carpet cleaning, but only in Montgomery County.
Carpet Guy: Montgomery County is the only county we dont really like
Me: Why? Too many rich people?
CG: Yeah this one time we were in a house and the guy didnt understand what I was trying to tell him he needed done and he ended up kickign us out of his house.
CG's wife: yeah, he was a "Dot"
Me: A "Dot"?
CG: Yeah, an Indian. Man, those indians are taking over our country. Every 711 you go into, they're every where. I say we go and take all their jobs if their gonna take ours.
Me:
All of this aside, I think the carpet guy was a nice enough guy and he has tried to help us out. The land lord told us that the carpet was not clean and that we had been ripped off and needed to have him come back. Now most of the problems still present in the carpet are stains and holes that were there before we moved in (I have pictures), and oil stains from the dogs sweat when she was layign on the floor and those wont come out no matter what we do. Also He said the house still smelled like dog. It probabaly didnt help that we had people over after the carpet was cleaned and slept on the floor and were still moving some stuff out which is probabaly why it didnt look like it had just been cleaned. Anyway, the caroet guy was supposed to come and meet with the landlord and I so we could figure it out but that fell through as the landlord couldnt get ahold of the new tenants to get their permision. As it stands now, we are waiting for the new tenants to compile a list of existing problems and things that need to be fixed and then we will figure out from that what we are responsible for (if the carpet is fine with them then we are ok). But it has been like 3 weeks. I left the landlord a message today so we'll see what happens. I know he has 45 days legally to give us our security depsoit back (or let us know that we wont get it back). I need to find out if there is a limit to how long the new tenants have to compile their list.
Wow, this is a long post.
This weekend, Elizabeth and I went to pre marriage class at a Catholic church. While neither of us is really religious, especially not organized religion-ous, Elizabeth's family is, and we are going to have a Catholic wedding to keep her Grandparents happy. So we had to take this class. It actually wasnt that bad, and I enjoyed the fact that Elizabeth, the ex Catholic school girl looked more bored than I. The class was 2 hours on friday night and all day on Saturday. There was a lot of stuff about communication and finances, and even a dancing lesson that I though was worth my time. The really fun stuff however was stuff like "Prayer and Stewardship in Marriage", the obligatory speech by a preist about how I'm really getting married to the church and/or God and/or Jesus and not just Elizabeth(I thought they were against polygamy!?) and the jewel of the weekend "Natural Familiy Planning". The Prayer and stewardship lecture was about how important it was that we pray together everynight and that we set aside time, for instance while we are in the car, for bible study and rosary saying. I wonder how many accidents are caused by people trying to drive and talk to God at the same time? Also, We are apparently supposed to give like 10% of our money to the church.... whatever, thats hooker money. I was disapointed that this section did not ask of us "How will you help your spouse get into heaven?", even though they did remind us that this is our true goal in marriage. Elizabeth's uncle was asked this question in a recent catholic marriage class and replied "With a shotgun", so you can see my disapointment at such a great comedic moment beign missed. Natural Family Planning (or NFP for idiots who actually think its a good idea) is the practice of using a womans cycle as a form of natural birth control. Now, I agree that it is a good idea for a woman to keep track of her cycle, and even that this is a good way to get pregnant if you want to, or to not get pregnant if you dont really care if you actually do get pregnant, but I have trouble understanding the ethical superiority of this method over other birth control methods, and have trouble seeign it as anything other than a loophole for Catholics who want to have a lot of sex (I mean "relations" and the teachers refered to it) but dont want a lot of kids. Also, the woman has to check the color and viscosity of her vaginal lubrication/discharge every morning to track her cycle. Actually, that could be kind of hot... I wonder how many good catholic wives end up discovering masturbation this way? Finally, this method is incredibly racist. The sample chart they showed us has red stickers on period days, green on days that the woman could not get pregnant (at least statistically very low probability of gettign pregnant) and WHITE baby stickers on really fertile days. Elizabeth wanted to ask if the set came with black babies and what to do if she wanted to have a black baby. As a nurse, Elizabeth was even more skeptical of this section than I was. I guess education trumps my sinnerism or something. anyway, we ended Saturday by having to do to mass and stand up in front of the congregation and be awarded certificates and these little pewter action figure guys actached to a wooden "T" shaped thing. I'm not sure what the significance of that was, but it sure was noce of them to give us free stuff. Unfortunately the certicicate says "Elizabeth Parker and Timothy Coss", so evidantly Elizabeth is cheating on me. I'll have to dump her. Actually, the bible says that you can annul a marriage for the simple reason of unchastity... so we can break up if ever get bored with each other and god will be ok with it because we are dirty whores. kick ass. Oh, and we also got a free book called something like "The good news about sex and marriage. answers to your questions about sex and marriage in teh catholic church" This is a fantastic book which gives us such words of wisdom as the fact that oral sex is ok as long as the man does not come and it is immediately followed by old fashioned baby making sex (evidently the same goes for anal sex although they didnt really come out and say it), and that the only acceptible way to obtain a sperm sample is to use a "perferated condom" I really hope I never mix my perferated condoms up with my no perferated ones... boy would that be embarassing.
posted by Unknown | Monday, May 22, 2006
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